My Fears of Starting a Family

2/14/15

My Fears of Starting A Family

     Hey guys! Today I'm not doing so well. It's Valentine's Day and I'm alone as usual. Honestly that's because I'm afraid to get out there and start looking for a guy. I'm just scared he will judge me if he isn't like me or only date me and not marry me because of my disease. I see couples all around and I feel a little jealous but also I have a pretty good reason for not wanting to be in a relationship. First, I love children. Seeing them just makes my day even better. Sometimes I watch Barney just so I can see the little kids running and playing and having fun. But since I have achondroplasia dwarfism, then there is a chance my child will have to suffer with the same disease as me. If I were to have a child with a normal guy, there is 50% chance that our child will have achondroplasia dwarfism. If I were to have a child with a guy who has achondroplasia dwarfism then there is a 25% chance the child will be normal, 50% chance of the child having one defective gene that causes achondroplasia dwarfism and a 25% chance that the child will have a deadly form of achondroplasia dwarfism called homozygous achondroplasia.

     Those odds just scare me, if I find someone just like me, there is only a 25% that our kid will be normal and a 25% chance that the child will die. Which means there is a huge chance that the child will suffer and have to deal with the torment that comes with achondroplasia dwarfism. I would hate to do that to someone. I really do want a child of my own and the best bet is to have one with a guy that's normal but I honestly don't think a normal guy would want to deal with me. I mean it's not like I can hide my disease and tell him later. My disease is very easy to spot. I am afraid that I will be forever alone and that no one will want me. At this point I'm willing to take anything. I feel like a guy like me will understand what I am going through better than a normal guy. We would probably have a stronger connection because we suffer from the same disease. If I do find a guy that has achondroplasia dwarfism, then I will not have kids with him. Even though it hurts me to say that, I cant do it. I can't live with myself knowing that I played a big part in my child having a normal life. The constant staring and ridicule is not something I would like my child to know of this world. Since I have the choice then I choose adoption. At least then, my child can have a second chance at having a family and living a normal life.

This shows the difference between a normal child and a child with achondroplasia dwarfism.